We don’t normally think of sex as a competitive sport. But new research suggests that all of us—men and women—approach the bedroom with the same status-seeking spirit that has us lusting after designer handbags. A study from the University of Colorado Boulder found that, yes, having more sex is correlated with higher levels of happiness. But the bigger reveal is that “more sex” is a relative concept. Boulder sociology professor Tim Wadsworth discovered that his subjects were less happy with their sexual GDP if they thought their friends were doing it more. “If members of a peer group are reporting having sex two to three times a month, but believe their peers are on a once weekly schedule, their probability of reporting a higher level of happiness falls by 14%,” writes Wadsworth.
The reverse is also true: beyond the pure satisfaction of an active sex life, the study’s top, er, performers experienced a boost in happiness just from the awareness of their competitive edge. “Having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier,” Wadsworth concludes.
Until now, studies of comparative happiness have focused on income. We’re accustomed to envying the swollen salaries, houses, and wine budgets of friends, but these findings suggest that we use status as a benchmark even when we’re not aware we’re doing it. Who knew the Joneses exerted such influence over our intimate lives, and not just our lawns and car brand loyalty? Regular lust, it turns out, is a lot like object lust.
